havent written on here for over a week so need to catch up!
Friday
had a few friends over for a drink as we couldnt afford to go out on friday as well as saturday! it was a real laugh and we should do it more often, we ended up playing this drinking game wich was cool cos i managed to stop jonno speaking for a whole 10 minutes! then he stopped mefrom moving wich wasnt good, then we moved onto singstar which was also cool. was looking at some old pics on jonnos camera andsaw some of me and mark in manchester just before we split up, it upset me a bit cos it doesnt feel like long ago and we looked really happy on them. its a shame that things came to such a sudden end like they did, i know it was what i wanted for a long time but i still have moments where i think of how happy we were. but all of those memories are from when we first got together , i can honestly say , there has been few in the last 6 months. but got abvsoluteley wankered and finally passed out at about 2am!
Saturday
well what an eventful day, nursed a hang over for the first half and went to jonnos for a bbq as it was bloody boiling! like a summers day.we all got wankered (again) went to the club wiv clare, alan , ian and jonno. had a really good night. jonno and alan left early cos they wanted a shag and ian was spewing in the toillette somewhere! just left me and clare to dance the night away. noticed this gorge guy checking me out by the dance floor so made a bit of eye contact to check it was for real! surely it was and emma did her cilla bit. ended up leaving with him to go to a pub he runs in shelton , went with some of his mates and clare, everything was ok up until aout 5am when he asked me to stay the night , i did decline as im not that kinda girl and he just completeley changed. ignored me for the rest of the time we were there and left the room. decided enough was enough and left with clare. we had to walk home, didnt realise how far it was but we did have a giggle! finally found out where the trent river was! lived in stoke for 23 years and never knew!
Sunday
did nothing, went mums for dinner and had a lecture about cash......again! then yasmin and kelly came over for a bit to discuss destinys child concert! thats about it really.
Monday
Mark txt me and told me he had got some food for porscha, said i would go pick it up from him after work. spent the whole day stressing about it like mad. went round about 7 and expected to just leave with it but marie came out and gave me a hug which was nice. spoke to mark a little but didnt know what to say to him really , i dont know what it is but i feel like he has changed a lot . he isnt the person i met that sunny day nearly 4 years ago. glad i went though cos i felt nothing toward him at all , i think i may have closure at long last! i will always have time for him and if he ever needs me i will always be there but i know for sure know that the chapter in my life that included mark is now closed. i hope he goes on to meet sum one cos he deserves al of the happiness in the world. feel very liberated at the moment and am finding my identity again, its so good being martin and not martin and mark. people have commented on how different i am, back to my old self which most definiteley isnt a bad thing. was completeley miserable for months and months and now just want to enjoy life, focusing all of my energy in my friends and work at the moment and it seems to be paying off.
Wednesday
missed out tuesday as have nothing interesting to say. had a really good day at work today, had my one to one and that was brilliant, doing very well at the moemnt. they also told me that i had a team starting next monday! so pleased, felt like it was never gonna happen, although am absoluteley shitting myself , i know every advisor on the team cos weve worked together for the last 3 years so its gonna be weird leading them. other than that nothing else happened, was gonna go the pub to jonno but am absoluteley knackered and need to recharge my batteries for the bank holiday weekend!
